(no subject)

Thanks everyone for the comments and responses to yesterday's post. I don't usually delve into my past and what has occurred in it because I really do not want to come off as a whiner. Life happens, you just got to get on with it and if you need help you get it. I remember once when the depression was eating away at me saying to myself that I could not and would not give in to it, because to give in would ensure that the bastards who victimised me won. Well there are days and there are days.

Nuff said about that. Bluntly wallowing just makes it feel worse sometimes and I don't want to wallow. Not sure what got me started with that post other than recently I was reading the latest wave of the Dusk til Dawn FQF and the theme is, no man is an island. For some reason there was a story in it that resonated. Okay for those who have no idea, it's slash and good slash at that. But there was a story that hit me where I lived. Harry was abused by the Dursley's and experiences all the effects of PTSD in it. Also, Voldemort was involved. It was hard to read and hard to take even if it was well done. I try to avoid the really gruesome abuse stories because I know I have a hard time reading them. I also think canonically they are whack. But this was very well done in the abuse not being uber explicit and believable in the author's universe. It also was not gratuitous. It was there for a reason and it wasn't a short cut like you see in so many of the ff.net fics.

The problem I have with abuse in so many of the fanfics out there is the writer has no clue as to the impact of severe abuse on the body or the soul of the person abused. There are a multitude of stories on ff.net where Harry is routinely raped, beaten, starved and such and he comes back as normal as ever. So not gonna happen. Abuse, even verbal abuse leaves scars. Some visible. Some not. avus  who is a professional can attest to this since he deals with it in his work. My exhusband who for all his faults really does care about his clients and does work well with them can attest to that also. So can my best friend who no longer works in the child protective services. So can I as a victim and a former social worker. Make no mistake: I do believe Harry is an abused child. But not on the scale some of these writers put it at. The abuse of Harry is a much more subtle thing. The overt neglect of his emotional needs combined with the physical neglect of his subsistence needs, ie clothing that fits, proper food to eat, a room to sleep in rather than the cupboard under the stairs all add up to abuse. But not this horrific abuse I see in some fics out there. I also cannot imagine that any of the Dursley's are sexual abusers. Frankly they strike me as being more afraid his magic is contagious than anything else.

I'm no expert here but I see Harry as getting less resillient as the books go on. If he loses anyone else close to him it may well destroy him in ways that won't be so obvious. The post OotP fanfic shows the fans see it too. Harry is not a happy camper and most of the fans are wondering why if Dumbledore knew the Dursley's would not love him he was left with them. I wonder too. The manipulative!Dumbledore writers see this as a way to ensure Harry was emotionally needy and ready to latch on to the first friendly face he saw. Others see it as good!Dumbledore didn't know they would be that way at all. I am not sure where exactly I fall on this one because it could well go either way. Part of me says yes he is a manipulative SOB and then part of me says he hoped they would see him as family and treat him as such. I guess my final opinion will come when I finish the series and think about it. But, the impression remains that yes he did know, and he left him there anyways.

I wonder if Harry will ever have a good close relationship romantically. I don't know that JKR will ship him with anyone and the whole Cho fiasco was pretty realistic. Boy didn't have a clue, and it showed. He knew at the end that she wasn't for him, but no I don't think he learned much else from it. Then again maybe he did and we'll find out in book 6. Damn can July 16 come soon enough?