Oct. 9th, 2013

Well I've been away again. Unfortunately not for any good things. My mother died on September 27, so I had to go out to San Francisco for the funeral and the only computer I took was my iPad which sucks for any real use as a computer. Not sure how it is supposed to replace a laptop or a desktop but it makes a good eReader and I was able to surf the web a bit with it. It is not kept up to date on bookmarks and such so I had a very outdated bookmark list. I dislike the no keyboard option and have not purchased the plug in keyboard for it. The battery life was frankly worse than my phone.  So we had a funeral and a good crowd showed up. Surprising since she was 81, and a good portion of her generation has passed on. This has been a shit yr death wise in my family. In January and March, we lost two of Mom's older sisters, in June we lost my sister, and now Mom is gone. As my older sister said, 'there's been too many damned funerals this yr.'

For Mom though I really do think it was a blessing. She has been having the Alzheimers for years, and last year she had a stroke that she never came back from. After the stroke she never said another word and never got out of bed again. It's sad because for years this was someone who if she was awake, she was doing something.

Seeing my siblings was good. Oddly enough I have the least grey hair of all of them. All of us with one exception quit smoking. All of us left have children, my sister and I have grandchildren. My sister's third grandchild was born last saturday, nice reminder of the circle of life that. Two of us are divorced, the other two are married the one time, one for over 36 years! We are all heavy readers, and we all have iPhones. That last surprised me.

San Francisco has changed and not changed at the same time. It had been some time since I had been out there. So some changes have happened. Inevitable, time passes things change. But it was so recognisably San Francisco and so damned familiar even if the bus numbers have changed in some routes, that it felt like I'd not left at all. I wasn't in the neighborhood I grew up in, that house is rented with tenants in it. I was in a neighborhood I knew real well because my bff from HS lived there. The 'hood I grew up in has changed a great deal. When I lived there in the 70s it was Irish/Italian/Jewish immigrants, now it is almost entirely Asian, with a side of little old Irish/Italian/Jewish lady who live in the houses they raised their kids in. It's a good place to raise kids and the Asians are doing just that. Pretty much following the pattern set before our wave moved in.

I DID get to do a very little touristing. I went down to the Embarcadero, snooped around a bit. Hit downtown and Union Square. Wandered into Barney's. Got some Sees candy for my roommate. Walked my bloody feet off and had a ball doing it. Had that absolutely fabulous fall weather the entire time I was there. I am sure they are in for the usual fog soon. I would've liked to get to Fisherman's wharf but ... it didn't happen. Maybe next time.

So I'm home now. I doubt I will be back to San Francisco any time soon. I didn't want to make this trip. The reason for going was the reason I didn't want to go. Anyways, I worry about my sister who caught the brunt of the care giving duties with Mom, she was burned out and now, she has all that time that was dedicated to Mom and what does she do now? Fortunately she has a great spouse who will be there for her, but I worry because it was so hard on her.  And she still has stuff to do as the executor of the estate. Not fun. She was joking last week that since the Federal Govt shutdown she can't even notify them of her death(Mom was retired from the Postal Service and got Social Security). So yeah it aint over, but it is somehow.

So yeah I'm back and I'm actually okay with this. Mom's last years were not good ones. She's moved on to 'the next great adventure' as it were. There is a sense of closure when one attends a funeral mass and burial. The closure being whatever unfinished business was left? Well it's done now. So pull up the socks and get on with it. She'd want you to do that.

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rhiannonmr

August 2014

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